The wise philosophers, prophets, and sages alike have long believed that the love we seek is hidden within our center, which can be called the human heart. No other human organ is infused with as much meaning as the human heart. When we think about the image that the majority of us associate with love, there is no question that heart would top the list.

This description of heart sounds majestic and esoteric, yet it’s rare to have a love relationship without experiencing a kind of pain that feels like something within us has been shattered. Heartbreak is the name for this pain.

Our heart may not originate all our feelings, yet it’s highly responsive to them. It is, in a sense, a database of all our emotions. At some point we all will fall, and our hearts tear in places that no one can see. When we say brokenhearted, metaphorically, we are indeed talking about the intense emotional pain of a romantic breakup.

Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake. A broken heart is an open heart. Rumi accurately described this idea when he said: “You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens.”

Heartbreak is the most effective reset button. It lights the fire under us and pushes us toward becoming a better version of ourselves. The gift of a broken heart is what brings us closer to love.

Payman Fazly is a co-founder of Parent Footprint, an innovative platform that simulates the experience of sitting down with a therapist to enable parents to become aware of why their emotional reactivity is based on how they were parented and to allow that awareness to become a catalyst for change.

This blog is an excerpt from Payman’s recent book: Project Love: What Legacy Do You Want To Leave?

Visit: to learn more about Payman and his book.